Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
