Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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