Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
