maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
