Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
People with herpes should wear stickers.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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