Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
