he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
