he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
the night ended with taco bell and tears
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
