apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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