is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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