i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
