Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
