i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
