Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
