they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize