Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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