we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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