it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
