honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
sex in a hospital.. check
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
