Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
