Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
