She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Randomize
