I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Welp...herpes.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Boobs are out for the taking
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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