i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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