we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
