You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
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