I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
