six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It's just like the Real World with babies
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
