AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
