Whod you bang
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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