the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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