she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize