Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You took a bar mat shot.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
false alarm, still single
Randomize
