if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she looked like the before picture.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize