they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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