She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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