I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
