Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
