Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
