um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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