We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
