He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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