Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm too high and old for this...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
