I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
