I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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