No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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