Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
