i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
