This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
