I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
