Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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