TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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