i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
