Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
