We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
