All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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