I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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