Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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