He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
