A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
