the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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