Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
