Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize