So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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