So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
