Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
