the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
